I feel like I decided to write this post not just because I had things to speed it out, but also because people are always asking me about the cultural change, immigrants adaptation and how do I handle being away from family and friends I grew up with. Well, I wrote a post about starting 2021 kicking ass and standing up for ourselves, but let me tell you, this is not only a hard thing to do, but it feels like the adaptation and the cultural jokes never end. It is a daily effort in trying to not get stressed, let things go, and trying to show that, as an immigrant, I do not come from a country where women are naked all the time.
Gone are the days that women were deteriorated by wearing short skirts or simply not wearing a bra. This goes further than a cultural misconception, it is about women's power, women's rights, and the fact that we can all be feminists, wear what we want, and not be entitled by our backgrounds or choice of outfits. Some of the most influential and successful women I know show up on their social media wearing underwear sometimes. My favorite influencer of all times, Chiara Ferragni is super positive about women's power and no body-shame. No, I did not come here to write this post about how many jokes I get from wearing shorts, but I am not going to lie that those jokes can hurt and, most of the time, they come with the stereotype of Brazilian women.
As I mention, I live with those jokes daily. The adaptation to “get used to” this kind of joke without punching anyone in the face or being rude (lol, BUT FOR REAL) is a constant effort. Trying to stand up for me and changing the mentality of people around me is something that can be exhausting. I am sure I am not the only immigrant that goes through this and that is why I believe this needs to be said and shared among all my readers. Fashion lovers or not.
I know that the rest of the US is very different from NYC, but I can only talk about the place I live, and, honestly, it is easier to find edgier outfits in NYC than in Rio even though Rio has girls in the smallest bikinis ever. And yet, I wear shorts because I am Brazilian… And now people will be “if you do not like it, why do you not go back to Brazil?” I love New York. I made NYC my home and I do not want to be anywhere else. But it is not about NYC, it is about the stereotype put on foreign people and this happens everywhere in the world. Standing up for ourselves is the only way of changing that cultural misconception.
From personal experience, it is really hard to stand up for me without sounding rude or without trying to punch people in the face (LOL, BUT FOR REAL YOU ALL!). Especially at work! It feels like those are the moments I just play along, but inside I am cursing the person’s entire family. It is not the kind of feeling that I want to have or hold on to, but this also brings back that immigrant fear of being alone, building a career, and being quiet to stereotypes we know are not true.
Moving to a different country, being away from family, and building something on your own is an effort that cannot be explained. Of course, coming from a family of nothing when you build a great career is already admirable, but try doing that as an immigrant who is fitting to have rights in a country where you are not even recognized as a “normal citizen”. The adaptation is always a work in progress and a strength that cannot be measured. Especially in the fashion industry where people tend to not be so friendly, but they do not realize that this industry is made of immigrants. America barely has its own fabric distributors. Everything is imported from around the world and the best brands everyone loves are mostly not Americans (talking about Chanel and Prada).
Standing up for ourselves and kicking as this year is the goal, but cultural adaptation is something that we work on daily. All the effort is absolutely rewarding for the fact that I do what I love and I am building the amazing career I came here for, but honestly, nothing changes the fact that trying to play cool with stereotype jokes kills us inside. I have never opened up like this, but as I promise to always keep it real and tell the truth about a fashion immigrant lifestyle, I had to share this with you all.
PS: a fun (not so fun for me) thing that I just learned! I am not considered an immigrant yet. I am actually a foreign alien, which kind of makes things even weirder for the fact that instead of being an immigrant, I am considered an alien…
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