When you move to a new country you go through a lot of changes. It takes a while for you to realize that you are not the same person you used to be back home. Even if you stick to your family values and beliefs, your life perspective, your manners, and habits will change. If you moved to NYC, you know that this city lifestyle is very different from your original country. What you do not know is that this cultural difference can bother you.
Let me tell you something, you think that back home things are the same way as they used to be, but they are not. And it is not because everything has changed, it is because you have changed! I am learning this in the worst possible way - just like I have learned everything else in life, lol but for real.
After living in NYC for almost 6 years now, I can say that I am a true New Yorker. I love the NYC lifestyle, the hustle, the drinks and brunches this city can offer. I have not seen my father in 4 years and, honestly, I am shocked! Shocked with how much he has changed and aged, shocked with how different the Brazilian culture is (especially where I am from). His habits, beliefs, and manners are not befitting to the person that I am after moving to New York.
Not seeing my family in a long time and losing my cousin last year changed me a lot. Made me realize that I am here to do more for the fashion industry, help people and be able to be with my family when needed. I missed my father SO much that it hurt, but being with him for a couple of weeks made me realize that NYC is my home and going back to Brazil is not an option - even with the fact that I want to be there for my family.
This is unbelievable, NYC is such a cosmopolitan city, made of cultural diversity, that if you do not arrive here with an open mind, you are not going to make it in this city. Here is the first tip to make sure you can handle New York: be open-minded and do not judge people! You never know who people are and where they are coming from.
It has been a real shock for me to see how much I do not fit in Brazil anymore and how different I am. I always said that it is important to stick to your family values and never forget where you come from, even moving to a new country. And I stand by this! But I also realized that I am a completely different person and I developed my own values and beliefs based on a whole new cultural experience. And thank God for this experience! Now I know that I am different and I am always in favor of love.
At the same time, I feel better about the person that I have become, I have to admit that it kind of sucks the fact that everything back home has changed. I know that I am the one who changed (now I know, lol), but it was a big shock to see how much my father has aged and, honestly, it hurts my heart that I was not around to see him getting grey hair. All of this is part of my life choices, and I know all immigrants go through this. I never allowed myself to feel sad because I miss my family, but let’s face it: we do feel sad. And not spending quality time with your family is one of the biggest mistakes immigrants make. If you can visit your family, do it!
In a certain way, it was good to feel this cultural shock that I am currently going through. I mean… this proves how much I have changed and how better I feel about myself. This showed me that it is literally New York or nowhere. Even though sometimes I want to swim to Mexico and live by selling mojitos at the beach (lol, BUT FOR REAL!).
It is complicated to accept change. Especially when you realize that the change is on you and not on your outside environment. The person you become, the habits you create, and the lifestyle you live after moving to NYC are things that your family and friends from home will never understand. It will be hard for you to admit that you have changed because you are scared of not fitting within your family and friends group you have known your whole life, but this acceptance is important to move forward and build that life you came here for.
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