It is funny how, sometimes, I want to write personal blogs that might be inspiring to you all, but I easily run out of relevant ideas - especially if we are talking about very personal blog posts. It is hard for me to think of something that can be useful for more than just the immigrants or fashion designer aspirants that normally read my posts, but inspiration seems to always catch up with me on time and it never fails. So, let me tell you a little story about what happened to me and why you should shut up more often.
Weeks ago I was having brunch with a friend and her boyfriend (who happens to also be my friend). In between mimosas, beers, and food, we chatted about work and future plans. Me, in particular, I am pretty happy with my career, the direction where it is going, and what I have accomplished so far. My friend on the other hand, even being happy with her current job, is looking into changing her career and finding a job in a different industry. While we talked about goals and dreams, my friend’s boyfriend decided to give her a hard time “You have been saying the same thing for two years now… why haven't you made it happen yet?”. That shit glued to my head in a way that I HAD to come here to not only share this story with you all but to tell you: stop talking and do it!
I will admit that I am the kind of person who likes to be quiet about my personal life. Yes, I am funny, I am shameless and I share a lot on social media, but when it is about goals and dreams I learned, in the hardest way, that not everybody will cheer for you, or even less celebrate your wins. Unfortunately, this is the kind of thing that can be really heartbreaking because, sometimes, you see jealousy or negativity from the people you least expected. I had “friends” laughing at my face after I told them my life goals. When shit like this happens you certainly realize who your real friends are, which sucks, but you also learn to shut up a little more often.
I learned that keeping things quiet and simply getting shit done has a bigger impact on my life. I love the fact that people show their true self and their true intentions when you tell them your secrets. Why do I love when people show their true colors? Because it makes it much easier to know whom you can truly trust! Nowadays I don’t open up about my plans or life strategies with anyone until I actually get to know the person and see that the person has great inputs to add to my life or career, but even when I sense negativity I still like to keep the person around. Do you know that old saying “keep your enemies close”? Well, there is something about showing the world (and anyone who ever doubted you) that you made it and you are HAPPY, that only people who have lived it can understand how satisfactory it is.
Ok ok, this sounds quite snobbish, I get it! But if you have read any of my previous blog posts you would know that I hate fake humbleness… I just hate it and, yes, I have busted my ass working and spent a lot of time of my life staying focused, studying, and learning to be able to conquer my dreams. So yes, I am going to celebrate and show the world that I made it. But you know what is the best part of showing the world that you made it? The main reason why I am writing this blog: inspire other people who are also trying to make it!
Even though there is something quite satisfying about showing haters that you made it happen, this should never be your main reason to become successful. I grew up with a lot of people watching me and, the fact that I was the crazy party girl from that small-minded town where I come from, a lot of people doubted and laughed at my face when I said that I dreamed of becoming more than my parent's shadow. So I learned to keep things to myself and, inside my heart, I always knew that I wanted to prove them wrong, that is the main reason why I admit that there is something satisfying about showing people what you are capable of. But you know what, after I got where I am now, even letting my success be the noise, the truth is that I (and I alone) feel good and I feel happy about conquering my dreams. So achieving my goals was and will always be something that, even showing to everyone who doubted me that they were wrong, I did it for myself, and that is what you should aim for. But you, indeed, need to learn when it is time to keep it quiet.
One of the hardest things about not keeping your goals to yourself is not how people will react and how heartbroken you may be when your “friends” show you their true colors. Want to know what is the hardest thing about failing? Living with it. Especially after you made your dreams public!
When you make shit public you open a door for your friends to be asking you about your goals, and you have to tell them “it didn’t work out”, which is totally ok but the truth is that admitting failure can be hurtful and you have to learn how to, publicly, live with yourself after failing at something that you have been happily planning and talking about with your friends. Now, that is the worst feeling to have but also teaches you a lot about staying quiet regarding your personal plans.
Even when your friends have the best intentions and ask you personal things because they care about you and they want to cherish your accomplishments, the chances of you feeling bad that they ask or just feeling sad about yourself because you failed are, most likely, between 80% and 200%. As I said, I learned in the hardest way, and, to this day, even with close friends that I fully trust, I don’t talk about my plans and my strategies. Not that I don’t trust them, but I have disappointed myself enough to know that when I want things I go and get it done, and I tell my friends once it is already done! In that way, I can publicly enjoy my achievements, or silently feel sad because I didn't make things happen.
Regardless of how you chose to live your life, making your plans public or not, you have to remember that you should go after your dreams for yourself and nobody else. Hopefully get to inspire some people along the way, but do it for yourself because that is what makes you happy! If things don’t work out, you have to work on a new strategy or simply change your goals and, when this happens, you will be the one to live with yourself and your failures. The energy you put out in the world is the energy you attract, that is a fact, but you don’t truly know people in your life until things happen and negativity or jealousy can come from anywhere, unfortunately. So working on your goals quietly and simply getting them done might have a higher impact. Speaking from years of personal experience. Stop talking about it and DO IT!
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