I am not writing this blog to say “don’t be afraid of change” because that is real bullsh*t! Let’s face it, change is a scary thing. Especially when we are jumping into a whole new adventure we never explored before. The truth is that it is okay to be afraid of change, but that does not mean that you don’t have to embrace it. Yup, embracing change is easier and way more comfortable to admit than saying “I am not afraid of change”.
Speaking from personal experiences, I was always the kind of person that needed to be pushed to do things. If I wasn’t a lazy lay back person for most of my life, I would certainly be in a better place right now, BUT the fact that I (ironically) don’t like change and was always forced to step out of my comfort zone, I had to learn how to embrace the change even when the change scared the hell out of me.
Ok, one thing that we all have to admit is that changing can be a good thing. That is why it is sometimes necessary. Still, it doesn't mean that you have to simply embrace the changes coming your way without feeling anxious - or, in my case, going to therapy… So, when it comes to embracing new adventures, I have gathered a couple of tips that will be pretty helpful, especially if you are planning on moving to NYC.
1. Always do research
To be 100% honest with you all, I moved to New York knowing absolutely nothing about this city. Yes yes, we all know that the Statue of Liberty lives here, we all know that it's where Time Square is, we know that some of the highest buildings in the world are located in Manhattan and we know that the Empire State Building is the world’s most famous building - I mean, King Kong made sure of that… But I had no idea how self-centered New Yorkers are, or how difficult it is to build a career in this city, I had no idea about the city’s geography and no idea how I would get around.
So let me tell you, wherever you are moving to, do research! Study the city’s public transportation, the city’s geography, areas you should and should not go, where are the most popular places to visit, and the most expensive areas to live in. I arrived in New York as a little girl full of dreams and knew nothing about this city. If I had at least done some research, things would have been quite different when I first arrived here.
2. Lower your expectations
Ok ok, this is not exactly related to moving to a new place, but also career and relationships related.
I arrived in NYC thinking that I would have my shit together in 6 months. Guess what? In 6 months I didn’t even have a place to live. So, to survive and avoid a few broken hearts, lowering your expectations is a great way of keeping your anxiety on a lower level.
To be clear, lowering expectations does not mean lowering your standards. The opposite! They are two different things and you need to know that, when setting your standards higher, you should expect a difficult road. So lowering your expectations during this road will help you never give up until you hit your goal.
3. Walk into it humble
I didn’t! I walked in with my head right above my ass thinking that I was the best in the fashion industry and that I was going to find a job in a blink of an eye. It took me more than 2 years to find a job I liked and most of the people I spoke to had no idea what a fashion design degree means… lol, but for real.
Never forget that you are stepping out of your comfort zone so, even if you bring a good background, there is always a learning curve with any company and any career path. Being humble and admitting that you are always learning will help open even more doors.
4. Always look for the experience - even if the experience turns out to be a bad one
We all know that it is hard to see the bright side when your life is going to shit. But there is always a lesson to be learned, even during dark times.
I am not going to tell you to stay positive because we all know that it is quite impossible to stay positive when you feel like punching people on the streets… BUT focusing this energy on analyzing your problem and creating solutions is much better than sitting down and crying over your problems. So, learn and understand what got you in this messed up situation in the first place, then look into solutions.
PS: never forget that experience makes you wise. So the experience you had is what will help you create solutions.
I am not sharing these 4 topics with you because they helped me through some tough times. I mean, they did! But that is because I learned how to use them. Jumping into the unknown was always a struggle for me and I didn’t know how to handle changes in my life. I hope you all can go through your changes differently than I did, and that is why I wanted to share this with you. Let’s admit, “don’t be afraid of change” is just a bunch of horse sh*t. Be afraid of change, but embrace it anyways! You will adapt much better than I did.
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