If you are planning on moving to NYC, I hope you are all caught up on the last blog posts and, if you are not planning on moving to NYC, I hope you enjoyed the read. Now, one of the things people are always worried about when moving to a new city/state/country is leaving your friends behind and starting a new social life. Yes, it is hard to build new friendships, but building new friendships in NYC is almost as hard as building a career from scratch.
This is NYC. People are hustling and focused on their own life. It is hard to find true friendships and people who actually want to give you their time. No, it is not impossible to build a solid group of friends, but you have to be careful - if you are too nice, most people will try to take advantage of you. I learned the hard way, but, to be honest, I was always naive. But do not worry, NYC teaches you how to be tough in friendships as well.
Ok, a few tips for you to make sure you will build a great social life in the big apple.
1. The people who inspire you should be the kind of people you surround yourself with
As cheese as this may sound, you should surround yourself with people who inspire you and make you do better!
People might be nice and even good friends sometimes, but what matters is where you want to be in life. Surrounding yourself with the right people who live the lifestyle you want, are in the industry you want to be in, and make the money you want to make is crucial for you to push yourself and go after what you want.
Yes, it is hard to build up friendships with people who are better established than you and it is even harder to keep up with their lifestyle (since they are well established and making money) but, believe me, the moment you start hanging out with those people, start traveling with them, hanging out at nice places, shopping at nice stores, you will push yourself to do better, make more money and get that job you always wanted.
2. Do not start looking for friends, start going to places
One fact about me that always impresses people is that, when I first moved to NYC, I used to go to bars, restaurants, the park, and social places by myself. Yup! Go by yourself, sit at the bar, have a drink by yourself and, eventually, you will start meeting people.
Obviously, you have to be careful because most people will be trying to take advantage of you, but be smart, start friendships (not relationships) and get to know people.
3. True friendships come in your own way, you do not have to push them
Like I said, be smart, start friendships (not relationships), and get to know people. Eventually, the right people will come on your way!
The lonelier you feel, the more you will try to push friendships and relationships that are not good for you. If you be yourself, get to know people, and let people come in your way, easier and better will be to build lifetime friendships in this city.
Also, just an extra tip: NYC is a hustle and people are focused on their own life. If people are saying no to hanging out with you, going for drinks or a coffee, it does not mean people do not like you, it simply means they are focused on their own thing. People also do not like to be talking about their lives so much and tend to take their own space when they are stressed or busy, but none of this has anything to do with you. Learn how to not take things personally!
I hope these tips will be useful for you if you are moving to NYC. If not, use this for life regardless. I also hope you are not as naive as I used to be - that will save you years of wasting time on people who are not worthy.
Finding a place to live, finding a job, building your social group are some of the first steps needed to move to NYC and start your life but, mainly, you are moving to the big apple to build a career, so the next blog post will be focused on tips for you to start that career you came here for!
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