I decided to write this blog because I wanted to speak up about being too modest or fake modesty. As I already mentioned, I grew up on a farm. My family has been in business for three generations. I decided to fly away and conquer a career. My life completely changed when I moved to the US, and even though I tried to be modest, I will admit that I am sick of fake modesty and stereotypical jokes.
I recently watched Anitta’s new documentary on Netflix. She is a Brazilian singer who grew up in the Brazilian ghettos, made it out of there with her music, became the biggest Brazilian singer of the millennium, put Brazilian music back on the map and, it is not just focused on her career as a singer, but educated herself to become a businesswoman and entrepreneur. In her documentary, she mentions fake modesty and she is not shy about mentioning how successful she has become. And you know what, SHE IS RIGHT!
Since I moved to the US, I have changed my life drastically. I arrived as a girl who had never had to work or worry about her career. I very quickly had to learn how to be an adult, get a job, learn how to pay bills, be a professional and build a career. I constantly face stereotypical jokes like “oh, it is because you are Brazilian” or “oh, it is because English is not your first language”. It is kinda ironic because most of these jokes come from people who cannot even speak a second language… These jokes tend to stress me out badly. Especially jokes related to “nice skirt, is that because you are Brazilian?”. I have met a lot of people who like to make this kind of joke and I think it is funny - counting on the fact that most of the people never been to brazil (or simply never left the US).
Since I moved here, I have busted my ass by staying focused, working hard, educating myself more and more. Every time somebody tells me “you have done so much” or “you are such an inspo” I tend to get shy and just answer “it is ok” or “oh, I just try to stay focused” but you know what, this is fake modesty. I realized I hate fake modesty and yes, I do deserve it and have worked hard to get where I am and build everything I have. This is one of the main reasons why I decided to have this space: because I have something to share and I want to inspire people - regardless of whether or not they are immigrants or fashion lovers.
We tend to be quiet, shy, and not stand up for ourselves. Because we are afraid because we just want to “go with the flow” and not upset our friends or be perceived as rude. And this is wrong! Accepting that you have worked hard, accepting that you deserve everything you have worked for, and accepting that you are entitled to all that you have earned is difficult.
I remember the people who used to call me crazy. Even friends from Brazil who said I was crazy and I should have stayed in Brazil (where life was way more comfortable). People I met 4 years ago in NYC and doubted/made fun of my goals, people who used to call me crazy because I dreamed big and because of how open-minded and crazy fun I am. I never stood up for myself for being afraid of losing my “friends” and, even now, I tend to be shy when people compliment me.
Enough fake modesty... I actually agree with Anitta! I worked SO hard and busted my ass, staying focused and putting effort into building all that I have. Embracing that you earned what you have and standing up for yourself is normal and it is something you should not be shy about. Start 2021 right and go kick some ass! Fake modesty will not take you anywhere. When everything is down to career and business it may make people like you but will never get you promoted.
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