It is February 7th, 2022 and my birthday is not until October 26th, but let’s face it, turning thirty is bringing me so many memories and thoughts that I had to start writing this blog as early as I could. Thirty years old and so, but SO, much to share with you all that it is hard to know where I should start.
Let’s start with the fact that we might turn thirty, but some things about us never change. Accept it! For me is the attitude, which believe me I have been working on, but sometimes it just happens and I cannot help it - especially if I am dealing with dumb ass shit, I just can’t stop my rolling eyes. It sucks, I know! But I have been working on it (for thirty years, lol). On the other hand, some things change drastically. Hangovers, for example, do not hit the same way. If you know me at all, you would know that I always liked to party, but nowadays going out hits me like I am about to die, and would rather sell my soul to the devil instead of living another minute with that headache and constant vomit attacks… (lol, but for real).
No jokes, I never thought that I would live to see the day that I would rather be home or do something chill on a Friday night. Bars and nightclubs were always my things, so now it sucks to embrace reality and admit that I like to be in bed no later than 11 pm. The good part is that there are things we can change for the better… I feel much more confident now than when I was 22. Still a work in progress, but I feel like I am closer to becoming the woman I always wanted to be and, if I were to actually recap my life and put check marks on things I have accomplished, I think I can’t complain much…
Live in an English-speaking country, build a career in fashion, start a business, do more volunteer jobs, all checked. Still working on becoming a multimillionaire and buying my property in NYC, but so far things tend to be going in the right direction. To be honest, the only thing I always knew that I wanted to achieve it’s a career in fashion (even though I had no idea what I wanted to do in the fashion industry). The fact that, since young, I knew I wanted to be in fashion brings me crazy memories of first grade, when a lot of my classmates used to make fun of me because of my outfits. But let’s face it, creative fashion outfits weren’t (and still aren’t) suitable for the small city where I come from - also, 8 years old probably shouldn’t wear red lipstick but I did it anyway!
I have to admit that I take a lot of pride in how far I have come in my career. If you have read the blog post IMMIGRANT SERIES - We all need a little help in the beginning, you would know that not even my parents believed that I could make it in this industry. But the truth is that, along with all accomplishments for the past thirty years, the hustle has been real, and turning thirty doesn’t feel like it should.
From what I know, when you turn thirty you are supposed to feel full, and blessed, all your dreams and goals achieved and ready for a family, right? Can’t deny that I am blessed (more than I know), and my life is going in the right direction, but I am not even close to conquering all my dreams and being ready for a family. That is something that thoroughly hurts. We put so much pressure on ourselves by trying to follow society’s living standards, that we forget to focus on our own life and respect our timing.
Finished high school? So it is time for college. Done with grad school? Get a master's. Done with studying? Start a career. Stable in your career and making money? So it’s time to start a family. Even though most of us are never ready to start a family… All these things turn out to be such pressure when you are getting older and, if you don’t follow these standards, your life is wrong.
It took me thirty years to realize that none of these “normal standards” apply to me, nor I am sure I want to have kids anymore. This is still a work in progress, but I have to admit that it is very liberating to understand that living life on my own time is better than seeking things that society implies.
Part of turning thirty with all my accomplishments feels great, but it also feels weird and full of doubts. What comes next? Am I going to be able to conquer all my goals? Am I even going to achieve all my dreams at this point? I am the kind of person who is very unsettled. I always need more, I am always looking to learn new things and I dream big! That is probably why all these insecurities come along with turning older but I have to admit, it still feels great.
As older you get better you understand yourself, your priorities, your goals, and the people you want around you. Turning thirty feels a little scary, I admit! Especially because there is a lot that I haven’t accomplished yet and so many dreams I don’t even know if they are realistic. But when you stay on your path, you work hard and you know where you want to be, things do get better. Turning thirty and looking back at all my achievements feels great and fulfilling. Now, on to the next step!
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